So much of what I experienced in Africa was larger than life – vast wilderness, enormous animals, big, big thinking about head-spinning topics like sustainability, evolution, the eco-system, poverty, beauty, instinct and extinction to name a few.
What I really want to share with you however, is something much less in-your-face. On safari I learned to appreciate what I am calling “deep listening”. Most of us can hear, but this type of listening is a learned skill. There were the obvious sounds of animal calls, birds, and the occasional growl from an unknown source, but the ability to recognize the bigger picture and the relationship/behavior between the species requires years of study, stillness, presence and respect.

On a typical morning we were awakened at 5am for a mug of coffee or tea and a light breakfast. Our wonderful guide, Ona Basimane was always eager to be the first car out of camp. We’d grab our cameras, binoculars and water, climb into the Land Rover and set out before sunrise. The roads are not for the faint of heart: sandy, bumpy and curvy is putting it mildly. We’d see the sunrise and enjoy the coolness of the morning. To those of us with un-trained senses, the scenery was desert-like and somewhat repetitive. Then Ona would stop the vehicle and put his finger to his lips “Shhh, do you hear that?” he’d ask. We’d shrug and reply “Maybe”, “I think so”, “Not really”. “It’s a Guinea Fowl and he’s not happy – let’s go see what’s happening”. Without warning he’d take a sharp turn, bounding over scrub, bushes, logs or anything else in our wake. Sure enough, Ona would spot the evidence of a leopard (paw prints or scat), a wild dog or hyena. This finely tuned listening developed over years of living and working in the bush.

I asked Ona about the importance of his listening skills:

Personally I think the art of listening is as important as the art of observation. I enjoy listening to the bush as I drive. After years of observing how different animals react to the presence of predators, I have come to know that a distress call from a Guinea fowl might mean there is a predator in the area. I have come to know when cats are mating, or cubs are playing, or a lion pride is on a fresh kill. This means I can safely predict what the animals are doing without having spotted them yet. 
On distress calls, I have come to know which animals are reliable when they give alarm calls. If I am tracking a leopard, I have to constantly listen to any distress calls from Guinea fowls, Impala, or Kudu. I know that a Kudu never bluffs; a distress call from a kudu means there is definitely a big cat in the area. A squirrel however, can be alarmed by anything, so his distress call may or may not mean anything.

In our day-to-day life we rarely take the time to stop and listen; to one another or to our surroundings. What we miss are the subtleties and non-verbal cues that are also loaded with information. When we choose not to listen we miss the opportunity to understand what someone else is really feeling or believing. It’s far easier to become judgmental rather than empathic, and this is where relationships suffer. Along the same lines, in order to predict a rain or snowstorm it is much easier to tune into a weather report than listen to birdcalls or note the behavior of our animals. The opportunity is there; the choice is ours.

That’s only one of the lessons I learned in Africa. Looking forward to sharing more of them with you.

Music to my ears,
Joan

Ona Basimane is a guide for Wilderness Safaris in the Okavango Delta, Botswana and  a wildlife photographer. He was a speaker at Wild Shots Symposium in Cape Town, S.A. this month. Read more about Ona in his bio: https://www.wildshotsevent.com/speakers/

As of Tuesday I’ll be off the grid, and I mean OFF the grid.  My husband and I have carved out 3 weeks for one another.  Part of the time we’ll be on safari in Botswana. It’s a trip we’ve dreamed-of for many years.  In the scheme of things 3 weeks doesn’t seem like a very long time, but we’ve had a number of challenges and potential roadblocks that could have de-railed us at any point. I have been so determined to make this trip happen, that I’ve been guarding this time – like a lioness guards her cubs (gulp!).

I’m not sure if I’m more excited about seeing the amazing wildlife or about being completely cut off from cell reception and Internet for 8 days.  That means no matter what’s going on back home, unless it’s a dire emergency, it will wait. Somehow the world will function without us and low and behold, I will get to be with my best friend without distraction for one whole week.  It’s almost unheard-of.

For this short period, we’ll be living by the timeline of nature’s clock; waiting for the animals at the water’s edge, sitting in stillness, listening for the sounds of activity, and resting during the hottest part of the day. I was talking to a friend recently about the safari and she said to me, “Be careful, you know the animals can wander right into the campsite.”  My first thought was:  Aren’t we the ones wandering into their campsite?  Don’t they have far more reason to be cautious than I do?

Of course the hardest part about going away is actually getting out of here! I’m trying not to stress about all that needs to be done in the next two days. Regardless, on Tuesday we’ll be on our way, and soon enough returning with lessons learned and stories to tell.  I cannot wait to share them with you.

Bonana! (“See you again” in Tswana)

Joan

Photo credit: ucumari / Foter / CC BY-NC-ND

Shhhhhhhhhhh,

We do it all the time:  “I’m not smart enough, thin enough successful enough… I could wear that dress if I lost 10lbs… No one will hire me because I’m too _______”  (fill in the blank). Self-judging and criticism is a contact sport that requires some serious safety gear.  The danger with these internal messages is that the longer we tell these stories, the more believable they become.  There is an antidote, however, and it is not as far-reaching as you may think. When we engage in practices that make us feel good, we stimulate the positivity juices (that’s my scientific expertise talking) and reduce the opportunity for negative self-talk. Nurturing our bodies with physical movement and our minds with relaxation are sure-fire ways of keeping the internal banter to a minimum.

Easier said than done, right?  Here are 5 SIMPLE tips that I personally find very helpful, and don’t require hiring a professional. Set a ridiculously reasonable goal to give one or all of them a try.  Choose what appeals to you, not what you think you should want to do.  Go ahead; give yourself the gift of a quiet mind.

1. Find a movement activity that makes you feel good.  Yoga, walking and dance are wonderful body-mind activities.  Remember, this isn’t about weight loss or fitness; this is about self-compassion.  If yoga appeals to you but you don’t know how to choose a class, try a few different methods before committing, and most importantly, choose an instructor with whom you connect.  If you love to dance, look for a NIA class, belly dancing or African dance.
2. Enlist a friend. You won’t have to look hard to find a friend who also engages in negative self-talk. Perhaps s/he would also like to minimize the chatter.  Make a pact to give a nudge when the other starts heading down the rabbit hole.  Vocal negative self-talk is a pretty good indicator of what’s going on inside. You may also want to reward yourselves for going one week without catching each other in the act. You don’t have to go it alone!
3. Engage in Mindfulness practices. Keep a gratitude journal – jot down at least one thing a day for which you’re grateful.  You’ll be surprised by the abundance you already have. Silent or guided meditation, and walking in nature are also wonderful ways to quiet the mind.
4. Don’t judge.  It’s difficult enough to quiet your internal dialogue, but judging yourself for doing it in the first place Does Not Help!  Leave the shoulds with your shoes at the door; with the cat in the barn, with the water under the bridge, you get the picture.  Just notice, without judgment.  That in itself is a gift.
5. Take a break from social media. Social media is a virtual Petri dish and breeding ground for negative self-talk.  Sitting alone, reading about the fabulous lives or your fabulous friends or comparing your website to the fabulously famous professional who spent oodles of money to hire a fabulous marketing expert does not bode well, in fact it grows mold.  Take the weekends off from checking Facebook, or stop internet use by 8PM each evening.  Spend time with the people who love you. Spend time with you.

Go ahead, fill your brain space with love!

XOX,

Joan

Happy August!  I’m just back from a lovely one-week trip to Seattle with my husband.  It always feels so good to get away and I am grateful to be able to do that from time to time.

Transitioning back into everyday life can be a little tricky, like trying on an old pair of jeans.  You expect them to be as comfortable as they always were – to hit in all the same places. They’re wearable, but something’s different. Just like changing waistlines, a break from our usual routine creates growth in other ways.  Re-entry is that place between hanging-on to the spaciousness of travel, and the readiness to return to responsibilities and everyday life.

This trip was particularly meaningful to me.  We were visiting with dear old friends from my childhood and college whom I hadn’t seen in many years.  Distance and life in general have kept us apart, but now that my kids are settled into their own lives, I have the freedom to travel and reconnect… and reconnect we did.  We fell right back into the old laughter and familiar banter.  Back to the comfort of knowing that even after all of these years, these are people who want the best for me, and I for them.  Funny, but going away this time was like coming home.  Now, having left those relationships again, coming home feels a little like ‘going away’.  Make sense?

So, my jeans don’t fit exactly the same as they did when I left (which could also be due to the amount of ice cream I consumed), but I’ll give myself the gift of this space, and settle back in soon enough.  I am happy to be home.

Since many of you are also traveling this time of year, I’d love to hear your thoughts about re-entry, transitioning, old friends or whatever else this brings up for you.

Happy Trails!

Joan