Lists are a way of life for some people. I have friends who say they simply cannot function without their lists. There’s the to do list, the gift list, shopping list, packing list, etc. Some write their lists on beautiful stationary, some on scrap paper. Some people check off their items, others cross off. They lose them, curse at them, and forget them. A list is a commitment in and of itself.
That leads me to the TO-BE LIST. If we start with a list of how or who we want to be, perhaps it will influence or alter what we need to do. For example, if I say I want to be more creative in my life, then on my list will be a reminder to pick up those watercolors I’ve been meaning to buy. The action steps are linked directly to being values and goals.
As a coach, one of the first questions I ask my client is: “Who do you want to be?” More specifically, how do you want to show up in your world, in your relationship, your career? Most people enjoy answering this question because they can visualize themselves at their best: “I want to be the go-to person, I want to be completely present for my children, I want to be kind, to be generous, to be a better listener”.
To be completely honest, when I began to write this piece, I thought this was my own idea. In fact, the TO-BE list is already out there! Here’s a short video about the book, Your To-Be List: Turn Those Dreaded To-Do’s Into Meaningful Moments Every Day by James McMahon and Lauren Rosenfeld: Your To Be List / YourToBeList.com
I’m going to take a first crack at my list: I hope you’ll give it a try and share some or all of yours.
Happy Being!
JOAN’S TO-BE LIST
- Be patient
- Be self-compassionate
- Be healthier
- Be friendlier
- Be proactive
- Be open
- Be real
Comments
Joanie, “To-be” list sounds divine. I especially liked the idea of connecting the to-be list to the to-do list. I will check-out the book you recommended.
Joanie!! I loved this yummy little video and have shared it on facebook! It is funny, at the neuroleadership summit I attended last week in San Francisco I learned a lot about what happens to our brains, biochemically and in response to different stimulus. Suffice it to say that making ‘lists’ can be a very effective way for some people to organize the kind of excess energy produced by stress hormones, like cortisol.
In other words, one is stressed, uncertain about something perhaps, the brain produces increased level of cortisol, the body has excess energy as a result of that cortisol and adrenaline (and we aren’t able to work that energy out running from the saber-toothed tiger like the old days)… so we spin in that energy… UNLESS we have a way to channel it! So people have a quick smoke, some take a break, go for a walk, make a phone call, meditate for ten minutes, or….. they make lists! Organizes/ focuses the errant energy, gives the sense of productivity/ accomplishment, moves us forward – away from the spin…
Your blog post here highlights how those lists could be even MORE effective! So cool!!
love and miss you muchly sweetheart… <3 R
So interesting Rachel – looking forward to hearing more about the work you’re doing. Let me know when you return to the happy valley!
You are such an articulate, warm, witty, thoughtful and incredibly skillful writer Joanie! Each time I read a blog entry you have written, I feel like my heart and mind have been deeply touched and reconnected. Your raw honesty combined with your astute observations, insight, clear and effective delivery, enable me to imbibe your message, enjoy the experience and not have to worry that my head will ache in the morning!
Who do I want to be? President of the Joan M. Shulman Fan Club!
And it often seems the daily “to do” list is just more urgent than the dream-like “to be” list – “must wash floors” has to be done, which is not true of, “must write something today”. Reading your blog makes me realize that I really want and need to prioritize those “action steps” that come from the question of who I want to be. Thanks, as always.
Yes, life can unknowingly turn into one long to-do list! Thank you for commenting.
Your blog is fun, exciting, photos are beautiful, honest, and keeps me thinking about the small but important events that come our way. I too have a counseling practice named Full Circle Counseling Life Coach, (spirit at work hey). My work is currently in South Bend, IN
Blessings
Patricia Holbrook
Patricia, thank you for your message. It’s so nice to hear when someone connects to my writing, especially a fellow Full Circle friend! If you also write, send me your link!
My best, Joan