Join me on my front porch for another chat and glass of iced sun tea.  I want to tell you more about the stuff that keeps our hearts pumping and the juices flowing.

I’m sure you know people who grew up with, or experienced tremendous hardship and pain yet still manage to create productive, joyful and meaningful lives. What is that thing they have? You know, they make lemonade and their glass is always half full?

That thing is the desired outcome of Guidepost #3 – Letting go of Numbing & Powerlessness: Cultivating A Resilient Spirit

There are a few common ways in which we deal with hardship. Some people are born with a resilient constitution; they have an internal strength and a vision that drives them forward in spite of enormous roadblocks. Others struggle valiantly to make sense of their misfortune; they seek support and reach out for answers. Their hard work often pays off, and personal growth becomes a source of strength and a value. Some people lean toward catastrophizing (I’m not even sure if that’s a word) and adopting a victim perspective that often keeps them stuck. Lastly, as a culture, the easiest go-to form of dealing with pain and anxiety is to numb-out. This can be in moderation or a full-blown addiction; as a society we numb-out by using alcohol, technology, drugs, food, shopping or sex.

There’s no right or wrong way to deal with hardship or fear. We do the best we can. What I know from personal experience is when we run from pain by numbing-out, it stays in our bodies on a cellular level and lingers in our subconscious.  This month’s news headlines have been frightening at best: Tragedy in Ferguson, MO, war in the Middle East, Ebola in West Africa. When we reach for the ice cream, the credit card or the wine in response to difficult news, we are running from our fear and emotional pain. Who wouldn’t?

Like all of the steps toward wholehearted living, with practice we can cultivate resiliency.

Here are a few ideas:

• Acknowledge the common humanity – Reach out to others because they’re also afraid. You are not alone in your experience. Your words and actions will create safety and community: There is power in numbers.
• Breathe – When you are overwhelmed or anxious it’s important to ground yourself. Your breathe is always with you and available for focus. Feel your feet on the floor beneath you and take a few deep breaths.
• Take a break from social media – This is an antidote to almost any cultural, political and societal unrest. I’m not suggesting you should put your head in the sand, but you can take a break from the commentary, videos and banter that seems to ramp up the stress around the news.
• Take stock in your accomplishments – There is nothing more inspiring than noting the hard work you’ve done – personal, career-related or physical. Give yourself the recognition you deserve, and it will propel you to continue.

Coincidentally, Brené Brown also posted a blog piece on a similar topic last week. Take a look to see what the author of The Guideposts For Wholehearted Living has to say.

Wishing you a resilient, whole heart.

Joan

Check out my EVENTS page to learn about fall workshops and webinars!

photo:  nina weinberg doran