It’s exhausting to be right all of the time, isn’t it?  That is one of my least favorite games.   As if it snuck in the back door, I can find myself playing it on occasion.  I noticed the dice rolling quite a bit at social gatherings during the holidays. When I get that squirmy feeling like “I’m outta here”, or I start to feel the need to one-up, I’m playing it.  If I have to struggle to get a word in edgewise – playing it.  Do you often insist on a “better way” to get somewhere or do something?  You’re playing it.  When the conversation lacks flow, it’s a signal that something’s amiss.

The art of conversation appears to be simple but often eludes people:  One person asks a question or raises a topic, then pauses for a response.  The other person answers or shares, and back & forth it goes.  The problem begins when one of the parties attempts to prove a point rather than engage in dialogue.

People expend a huge amount of energy on “being right”.  So much so, that after the game has ended, they rarely care about what others have to say.  When there’s competition brewing in conversation, my instinct is usually to disengage, not to enter the battle.  Distance is created and the connection is lost.  In my experience, the need to be right is usually a sign of pain – a longing to be noticed and ultimately, to be loved.  So, if you catch yourself playing this game, just notice and ask your self, “What do I really need right now”? It’s a more compassionate way to see your self and your opponent.  We’re all simply people with the longing to be loved.  It always boils down to that.

Am I right, or what?