Two weeks ago I made a promise to myself – NO self-trash talk for one week.  It seemed do-able at the time, seeing how tuned-in I was since writing the last blog post.  6 days in I was feeling pretty proud of myself!  I was busy with work and family, and started a new yoga class.

On Day 7 however, I fell off the wagon.  I can pinpoint exactly when/where it happened and actually find it fascinating. I went shopping with a close friend;  the kind of friend where nothing is off limits – we laugh and talk about everything, including our bodies, our work and any other philosophical conundrum of the week.  In this loving friendship, I can truly let my guard down.

Off we went for lunch on a beautiful crisp day.  We strolled around Harvard Square, stopping here and there; trying-on a few items and heading home feeling quite satisfied that I hadn’t spent any money. Then, out of nowhere… Out It Came!!!  I was suddenly flooded with a sense of frustration!  I actually felt relief as I blurted it out: “I didn’t like what I saw in the mirror”.  It was downhill from there as the spiral took us to that place where two friends can commiserate but nothing valuable ensues.  I caught it immediately and thought… SHIT, I blew it!  Not only was I stuck in the vortex but I was now going to berate myself for breaking my promise.

What’s the learning here?  First of all, how about a little self-compassion?

~ Congratulations for going 6 days without trash-talking myself.

~ Be extra kind with the people I love;  kind to me & kind to them. The more comfortable we are, the easier it is to slip

~ Watch out for all of those mirrors!  Pay attention to the tendency to self-criticize.

~ Focus on gratitude.

~ Do what feels good.

There are many more lessons here, and I believe we all deserve more respect than we give our selves. I look at this little experiment as gift to handle with care.  Remember… positive things don’t come from negative thoughts!

If you joined me in this exercise, please share some of your insights.

Peace!